Feeling like a Scrooge? Read on...

I've been thinking a little about money lately. It's Black Friday. I usually focus on fund development for InterVarsity this time of year. A few organizations ask for year-end gifts. There are presents to buy. We have one friend who is miraculously going to close on a house soon, and another waiting for a job to start so he can pay his bills. And we'll be figuring out our taxes in January. Money's not the main thing on my mind, but it's there.

I just read this article, "Center Your Budget Around Buying Freedom Instead of Things," from Lifehacker. I think it argues for a much healthier view of money and stuff. In the Western world, we've viewed stuff as a means to security. But more stuff just means more stuff we need to keep secure. It's a never ending cycle. So choosing freedom over consumerism seems good at first glance.

Without God, though, freedom, especially "buying" freedom, gets just as twisted. Instead of accumulating things to fill up our need for safety, we bolster ourselves up with our freedom. Because when I can make any choice I want, I have power. And if I have power, I feel in control.

It comes down to protecting myself again, creating an illusion to comfort myself and feel good about going my own way. I think God has a better way. I just watched this a few days ago, and it's got me thinking.

Breaking the Power of Money - Dr. Lendol Calder from InterVarsity twentyonehundred on Vimeo.

Would you tear the bill in half? How about giving it away instead? This year, how will you worship God, instead of stuff or freedom or security or Mammon?

The You of A

I boarded the bus in Dallas. Some InterVarsity staff had been on the bus for 6 hours. Six more hours (don't feel sorry for us; we did some staff training, praying, and lots of playing - I laughed so hard on the bus I nearly cried) and all 50 of us staff and volunteers had arrived in Fayetteville! It may not be top of your list of places to visit, but the Red River Region staff team has been looking forward to this trip for nearly a year.

Andrea and Jason Thomas, our Regional Director and Associate Regional Director, took the jobs years ago in part to help us plant. Our region is Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas, but when they came, we only had chapters in Texas. For a few years now, we've had a thriving chapter at the U of Oklahoma. But nothing in Arkansas.

Before our regional student retreat in February '13, the staff team met to talk about new directions in ministry, and we latched on to the idea of using our regional staff retreat at the end of the year to plant a chapter in Arkansas.

And by God's grace, it came together!

We stayed in 15 homes, traveled around on "people movers," and got some free Chick-fil-A for lunch one day. Two area churches gave us meeting space, and a Walmart exec VP exhorted us from the life of Moses to be courageous leaders.

Our day on campus was cold, rainy, and wonderful. We had 100's of conversations at our Faking It evangelism stations. We networked with ministry leaders and campus administrators. We met international students. We talked with atheists and agnostics who thought they'd join an IV chapter if it was like what they experienced with us. We even got a game of Spades going with some African American students in the dining hall. It seemed IV could make a big impact on campus. There's lots of great ministries already there, but I think IV brings something unique.

That night, I met 9 IV alum ready to support the new work on campus by giving, praying, and volunteering. Also that night we held a student meeting to cast vision to establish a witnessing community at U of A. Twelve students showed up. Years ago, Jesus called 12 men to follow him, and their decision changed the entire world. Think what God could do through these 12 students on campus and in the world!

Pray for good follow-up with the 105 students who filled out contact cards. Pray for the 22 who seemed like they could form a missional core. Pray for God to raise up a full-time staff worker (will YOU go to the You of A?). And pray for volunteer staff Joseph Pao-Wu who plans to gather students on December 5 after they return from Thanksgiving break. Praise God as these are some awesome students!

Discipleship Cycle Part Deux

I got back from my weekend trip to SFA last night. It's always good to see them!

Friday night, I did another training on discipleship. It was a bigger group, with a couple of newer leaders and a missional member, so I didn't want to focus our time on structures. Instead, I laid out the framework from Luke 10, where Jesus sends the 72 and leads the discipleship cycle you can see in the pretty picture below. We talked a little about why we need each piece and which structures do each well.

Then, I made them my guinea pigs. They wrote down a few words that describe God. In pairs, they discussed what might be missing from their idea of who God is. They came up with Scripture and actions they could take to help them experience God in that way. It was uncomfortable, and of course, I told them it wasn't going to be 100% accurate, but it generated discussion and showed a new way of thinking through someone's growth.

I shared with them the story of 2 disciples on the road to Emmaus from Luke 24, possibly leaving the movement because Jesus had just died. Jesus meets them but doesn't reveal himself, pinpoints their flawed idea of who the Savior is, and walks them through Scripture to help them understand better. He sits down to eat with them, they realize who he is, he disappears, and they walk 7 miles back to Jerusalem to tell everyone. That's some active response!

When we're choosing to disciple someone, we need to spend time with them, eating and hanging out and having fun. And we need to take and make opportunities to help them to know God better and be more like him. It can be tricky to figure out where to start, though.

Some questions to find out where someone may need to grow:

Who is God?
Who is Jesus? (often, those answers differ)
What is the gospel?
What has God been teaching you?
How did you come to faith?

Do you have questions you ask? What do you think of the cycle? Has anyone used it with you, openly or sneakily? Check out this IV article on the discipleship cycle.

The Discipleship Cycle

After getting some excellent training on discipleship last week at our Area Team Meetings (Houston and College Station staff), I decided to steal it. It's really the only thing to do.

So, Friday afternoon, I got to meet with 3 Thrive South Asian InterVarsity leaders.

We read Luke 10:1-12, 17-20. Jesus gives directions to 72 of his followers, sends them in pairs to do ministry, and helps reframe their experience to point them to God instead of how much awesome work they can accomplish.

It's a cycle - hear the word, respond actively, debrief.

For the rest of our meeting, Tina, Jijo, Saumia, and I talked about the formal and informal structures they have and the people they could invest in.

We determined which meetings are strong or weak in each step of the cycle. We brainstormed small steps they could take to engage every step at every gathering. After studying Acts 4:23-37 where the disciples pray for boldness to share the gospel, go in pairs during Small Group to ask strangers if you could pray for them. When you go out to eat after everything, ask what God's been teaching everybody.

We identified freshmen we could challenge to grow as Christ followers and leaders. Ask them to invite 10 students to Small Group next week. Plan Small Group with them, and have them lead big chunks of it.

We prayed. It was good stuff. I get to do it again with SFA this weekend.

Let the Beauty of Our God Be Upon Us

Last week I traveled to Chicago for the first meeting of the Staff Director’s Spiritual Formation Group 5. Silence and solitude. Rest and restoration. The meeting was different from anything else I've been a part of.

There was space to be. To meet with Jesus. To come face to face with myself. To wonder why we hadn't started the next thing yet, because I was getting antsy coming face to face with myself.

I got to walk around this gorgeous lake. Check my Facebook album for more pictures. The leaves change colors there. It was so novel.

We met in small groups, discussed the 3 books we read this summer and fall, and spent time alone reflecting on Matthew 11:28-12:14. Jesus really turned things upside down with the Sabbath.

We prayed liturgically at set times. The title of my post is one of the things we prayed. God really is good, faithful to meet us and bestow his beauty on our lives.

We practiced “Grand Silence” one night, not talking from when we said Compline to when we said Morning Prayers after breakfast. It was hard to be still physically and mentally, to not fill the time with things to do or thoughts to think.

We learned that solitude is essential to leadership, since that's often the only place where we meet God without pretension and hear him alone. Our rhythms and spiritual practices may look different given the “season” of life we're experiencing. Rest is an expression of our trust and dependence on God, and trust is a manifestation of what we think God is really like. We were challenged to find rest in our rest and work; we can trust Jesus as we stop working, and we can depend on him for strength and guidance as we labor alongside him.

I have lots of ideas about what I could do differently now. The two things I’m going to try are to take time for solitude and silence for 5-10 minute chunks throughout the day at specific times, and to try praying more to “Dad” instead of “Lord.”

In November, I may review the books we read: Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, Concerning the Inner Life, and Spiritual Rhythms. I’m pondering writing a bunch of reviews, since November is National Novel Writing Month. While I don’t feel like writing a novel, I do want to join in on the fun somehow. What do y’all think? Should I do it?

And how have you experienced God in times of solitude and silence? Is this a new concept, or a go-to spiritual discipline for you?

Faking It was Real

Real good. Great even.

We had hundreds of conversations on the ways we fake it, how God wants us to be real with him, and what the gospel actually is. Four Aggies came to know Jesus!

Overwhelmingly, students voted for “with friends” or “at church” when asked where A&M fakes it the most. But then I’d talk to students who didn’t think we were fake at church at all. It was intriguing to see the disconnect.

I shared about my perfectionism, how I often hide anger stemming from it. Most of the students I talked to said they hide being upset or sad – they don’t want to burden other people, and they don’t want to deal with the responses they might get if they revealed their true feelings.

We asked students to read a paraphrase of Luke 18:9-14. One pride-filled dude prayed to God trying to fake how great he was for himself as well as God and everyone else. Another guy was real about his brokenness. We asked why God accepted the prayer of the second guy but not the first, why it’s hard to be real sometimes, and who they identified with.

One Christian grad student shared that her boyfriend was in a coma and his family blamed her. A Christian undergrad told me about her depression. An atheist undergrad told me she stopped going to church because everyone acted happy all the time, and you just didn’t need to be happy all the time. She believed God was a construct that we as social creatures invented to comfort us when we felt alone, and to help explain the inexplicable.

What was really exciting (besides 4 people saying yes to God!) was seeing Thrive students out there. Especially a freshman guy and a junior leader – they were out there every day, sacrificing time and energy to step out of their comfort zone. Sharing the gospel with strangers is risky; in a culture and a season of life that’s all about image and relationships with peers, it takes guts to say something that could be rejected. I’m so proud to work with these students!

Last Friday night, at the end of our outreach week, we invited Erin Waller, an InterVarsity chapter planter in Dallas, to speak. She brought it. I was challenged that, little by little, I’ve drifted into bolstering myself up by putting down nominal Christians and even for-realsies Christians who aren’t living out God’s mission. I don’t want to be like the first guy in Luke 18. "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!"

Overtime

Like I wrote, Crossroads was amazing. I felt supported in prayer; thank you. According to students, Bible studies were "engaging" and "in-depth," and the talks were "powerful" and "funny." We all experienced God's presence. And God did some serious transforming work: at least 50 students made significant decisions/ re-commitments to following Jesus and many said they want to join a Small Group, keep doing a quiet time, or find out more about ministry with InterVarsity. Praise God with me, and pray for good follow-up by student leaders and staff.

New Student Outreach is crucial, our chance to impact students, to invite them to follow Jesus with us at their most open time. But Crossroads marked the end of those first 6-8 weeks. Now, we're in overtime!

This week, we're starting conversations on campus about how we all fake it. What situations do we fake it in? What mood do we hide the most? And what does Jesus have to say about being real? So far, 2 students have said yes to Jesus! God's using this tool to make it much easier to share the good news with people in a way that actually addresses their needs, hurts, and fears.

Pray lots of members come to get into authentic, gospel-focused conversations. Pray for relief from my back pain. And pray for our meeting Friday, where guest speaker Erin Waller will share about faking it and about real life with Jesus.

Still Reeling A Little...

But I wanted to share a few stories from Crossroads so y'all could celebrate with me! I'll probably have a few more details at the end of the week.

We had 120-130 students, from A&M, HCC, Rice, SFA, TSU and UH. 11 ministry partners volunteered to lead Small Group Bible studies. Another friend of IV led the worship team with a few SFA students (1 is a freshman!), getting to practice together on Friday only a couple hours before we began. They helped us praise God, and not just in English - we sang in Spanish and Chinese too.

Our Small Groups were a big hit. I led a few SFA and Aggie students. They quickly pointed out possible applications. One student saw that Jesus used what the disciples brought him to feed 5000; she wondered how God could use what she brought. Another realized when we assume things about people in church from their clothing, we're doing what the Pharisees did. Modesty is a good value - but we can use it to feel righteous when we're the ones who have the "defiled" hearts and are turning others away from God. And that was just the start. It was good to dig in deep and hear what God had to say with a community intent on doing it.

Almost 20 students, staff, and volunteers got stuck in an elevator for nearly half an hour. They actually tried to get the Bible study going while they waited! But of course, they struggled to concentrate with the heat and the lack of personal space.

Josh Howell challenged and encouraged us with Matthew 14:22-33. He shared that Jesus invites us to "come," to do what he's doing. The next day, he led us through Matthew 16:13-20, where Peter declares Jesus is the Christ, the Savior. He invited us to the big-ness that comes after making that same declaration, getting to have eternal impact. Lots of students made significant decisions, recommitted to following Jesus, or wanted to know more about opportunities for ministry with IV.

Crossroads Consternation

Our new student retreat, Crossroads, is this weekend. I'm so excited! 130 students are coming, some from our chapter plants at HCC and TSU, nearly 20 from SFA! What! They didn't exist 2 years ago!

But last week, I was full of consternation, preparing the Small Group Bible studies. I wanted to throw what I had across the room. I refrained; some of it was on my laptop and the other stuff was on paper, and Jack occasionally decides to eat paper.

The first passage, Matthew 14:13-21, seems straightforward at first glance. What questions could I ask that would get people discussing? Jesus performs a really cool miracle. Not to sound ungrateful, but so what? It's just that you get to see Jesus care for and provide for a crowd of strangers, when he had just gotten the heartbreaking news of his cousin's murder, and he uses the meager supplies the doubt-filled disciples bring him to do it.

The second passage, Matthew 15:1-20, was even more constern-ating (I know that's not a real word). It's kinda weird and hard to follow. There are quotes within quotes. Jesus brings up seemingly unrelated things in answer to straightforward questions. But you get down into it and sort it all out, and it boils down to this - following rules doesn't always make for a cleaned-up heart. You could find ways to keep sinning in the traditions the religious leaders of his day followed. And even God's laws in the Old Testament about how to stay ceremonially clean outwardly didn't guarantee a holy heart.

I struggled to come up with questions. I worried about how to set up our staff and volunteers well, since some will lead inductive Bible studies for the 1st time. Then it hit me - I could trust God to provide. Striving to make the leader guides easy to understand and full of good content, that was me trying to make things look good. I could depend on God to make things actually good. So I rested and read some commentaries, and it all seemed so much better and easier when I came back to it.

Just goes to show you - God provides. Pray we experience God's provision in unexpected ways at Crossroads, too!

Anyone else experience consternation trying to figure out what God's words mean, or how to help someone else dig into it?

A Night with Thrive, and Some Questions

We sat at Fuego's, munching on tacos and queso. Eight of us hung out after Thrive's Large Group, where 20 students talked about why we do Small Group Bible study and set meeting times for the men's and women's SGs.

Churches got brought up. One student described his denomination Mar Thoma, based in southwestern India, as a cross between Pentecostal, Catholic, and Baptist. I hope to experience that someday, because I can't fathom what that's like.

I shared my Bible church upbringing, which I joked is a bit like Baptist Lite. All the flavor with none of the calories! And the church we're at now feels a little emergent; my pastor can be super-serious or delightfully sarcastic, the worship is low key, and everything's supposed to happen "organically."

One student there was Catholic. Thrive's advisor described the Indian Catholic wedding he'd attended, where the bride and groom were lifted onto chairs and everyone was calling out something. He thought it was a shrill ululation, like a Xena war cry. Apparently not. We laughed as she shared what they were actually yelling.

A few others shared about their Pentecostal church weddings. Rings aren't exchanged at their churches. So they have Bible-bearers instead of ringbearers.

One of the students mentioned going to a cousin's wedding, where the groom was White. She shared how the aunties turned their faces away at the kiss. I stopped her, "Wait. Y'all don't kiss at the end of your ceremony?" "Oh no, that would be scandalous for all our aunties and uncles. They would be offended. And I can't imagine kissing in front of them." I blurted out, "But I went in for a second kiss!" After a split-second of silence, we all burst out laughing.

It was good to hang out. I stayed super late. I'm grateful we can learn about each others' upbringings with humor and love. That's a glimpse of Kingdom life for me.

Monday, when I promised this post, that was all I had thought of writing. Then my Facebook feed blew up with Miss America. The juxtaposed experiences struck me. I've heard people say racism isn't an issue anymore. But we clearly still have hang-ups over race. I have misconceptions, stereotypes, and I live, often unconsciously, with benefits that come with being White in the US. I guess you could argue our hang-ups aren't racism. But the vitriol on Twitter (which I understand has plenty of vitriol, no matter the subject) over an Indian American winning a beauty pageant seems ridiculous to me. Plenty of people are pointing out the irony.

I have a lot of anger, deep, pit-of-my-stomach frustration and heartbreak, over racism. I also have questions.

How does racism like this affect my South Asian friends? Many struggle with their identity living in two very different cultures, with traditional Indian parents in a predominantly White setting like Texas A&M. Words like coconut get thrown around, making someone question if they're identifying enough with their South Asian heritage. And then something like this comes along. What does it communicate? I think most probably aren't surprised. They've experienced this kind of thing before. I feel like it'd smack me in the face with the message "You don't belong! You aren't really American! You aren't wanted here!" Whether in day-to-day life or on a national level like this, that message could be all they hear.

It doesn't have to be, though. Ask your South Asian friends how they're feeling, if they've experienced racism before, what they're praying about right now.

I have this glimmer of hope. Could God spur redemption, empowering South Asian Americans to find a new way forward for all? This wasn't the worst injustice ever. Most of the South Asian people I know are good at forgiving and forgetting. It may become another anecdote, laced with bittersweet incredulity. But God could also use it for good. Our country's racial divide is deep, shown again this summer with the George Zimmerman trial. Whatever your thoughts on the verdict and on Miss America, we've proven we have deep-seated fear, ignorance, anger, and apathy among every race. In other words, sin. We could use new voices in the mix, helping us navigate repentance, healing, and racial reconciliation. I hope my South Asian brothers and sisters will choose to be a courageous voice for change.

From the Trenches

Wow, once again, a long time in between posts. I thought it had been a month, maybe 6 weeks. It's been 11. Oops. Thank you, readers who stick with me!

New Student Outreach (NSO) is winding down. The first 6-8 weeks in fall, IV focuses on reaching out to new students. And I mean focus - we stand outside for hours handing out icy pops and getting to know anyone who walks by. College Station in August is so humid that walking outside feels like swimming, but instead of feeling refreshed, you end up hot, dehydrated, and disgusting. I'm proud IV students make the sacrifice. During NSO, we give away free food, play board games, spend a day at the lake, paint pictures. All with people we just met who may not stick around. But we hope they do, so we keep at it!

First week of school, SFA IV handed out 1400 fliers for Large Group, their new meeting to build community, cast vision, and worship God. SFA has 13000 students. They invited more than 10% of campus. They're seeing fruit from the hard work planting the new chapter. When I spoke at Large Group, a student who joined this spring helped me lead an ice breaker, a new student was leading worship, and another (gifted!) musician said she had always wanted to lead but had never spoken up. I'll share more from my talk in my prayer letter this month. Let me know if you don't get that but would like to pray.

Aggie IV grilled and chilled. We invited new students to head to a park just off campus for hot dogs, Ultimate frisbee, and good conversation. Our dog Jack was a big hit. We let him roam, begging for petting from everyone. I talked about food in Bryan/College Station with 2 new students. I love IV's multi-ethnicity - one of the new students was white with 2 adopted Korean siblings, the other a Latina from Laredo; both wanted to know where the good tacos were in town, learned about sriracha from me, and got excited to cook bulgogi in my kitchen.

Okay - last story! A&M IV held a joint Large Group with 120 students attending! My boss, Josh Howell, challenged us to trust that Jesus would get us to the other side, even in the midst of storms, to have faith, and to be loved by the Father. I've been wrestling with what it looks like to trust God. It's pretty cool when you're ministering to others and God speaks to you too.

We do all this because the first 2 months of college are crucial; students make decisions that affect the rest of their lives. Like who they hang out with, how they spend their time, and whether they'll follow Jesus. If they haven't considered the gospel before, they're more open, and those who grew up in church are at a crossroads - will they own their faith, or let it slip away?

Speaking of Crossroads, that's our new student retreat coming up! Sept. 27-28 Gulf Coast area schools (A&M, Rice, SFA, UH, maybe others) will dig into Matthew 14-16 and explore how to "Travel with Jesus." I'm planning our Small Group Bible studies and coordinating lots of details. Please pray for grace and wisdom for me!

Later this week, I'll share about my late-night, cross-cultural story-swapping with Thrive South Asian American students. We were all cracking up!

Enough

I think a lot about worth. I struggle to know deep down that I have worth. Watching the Henri Nouwen video I mentioned last week, a conversation with a student, and Kyle praying for me at night to know that I'm deeply loved, it's been on my mind even more lately. I think many of us struggle with the question, "Am I enough?" Am I smart/funny/strong/amazing enough? Am I enough to be loved? Am I doing enough? Do people think I'm enough? Does God?

Those questions aren't at the forefront of our minds all the time. But I've had plenty of conversations with students and others who wonder. And the awful thing is, everyone thinks they're alone in asking those questions.

When you believe you aren't enough, everything in this world confirms it. Ads tell you what you need to live the good life, but you don't have what they're selling. You didn't get that grade or award or job. You aren't the "fill-in-adjective-here" one in your circle of friends. You don't have enough time to fit everything in that you're supposed to do in life to be successful. You haven't done enough to meet your expectations, or your parents', or God's.

But when you believe you are enough, it all becomes just events and circumstances in life. It doesn't bring your worth into question. None of it can prove you're not enough. Because the proof that you're enough is God loves you, and that's that.

Serve One Another

Wednesday, at my church Small Group, I got a hard icebreaker question. How can we grow as a community? My answer: Kyle's like a black belt-Jedi-McGyver at service; it's how he shows love. I often fail to think how I can serve people, while it's on Kyle's mind a lot. Beyond serving shared needs, we could take time to consider each other. Sometimes people won't voice their needs or even know what they are. We miss out on loving people simply because we're not being thoughtful.

1 Peter 4:10-11 says, "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace... whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ." God is glorified when we serve one another. We're blessed, too. It's beautiful when we shift our gaze from our needs, worries, whatever, to one another. God transforms and uses us, and we get more of the life He intends us for.

Thursday, I did laundry and grocery shopping. Kyle's swamped with work, had jury duty, and as a cherry on top, caught a cold. Often I'm the swamped or sick one, and Kyle comes to the rescue. It felt good to serve him by taking care of those to-do's.

Friday, I was able to serve in a different way when I met with a student facing hard things. We studied Scripture, prayed, and talked about our worth and how to honor parents. It's why I love ministry - helping someone know truth, Jesus healing them, changing the rest of their life. Thanks for praying and giving so I can be there.

I'm excited to see what today holds. The trick will be to serve by the strength God gives. It's easy to rely on myself and burn out! What about you? Has God given you a cool idea of how to serve others lately? How has it blessed you and glorified God?

Some Great Talks

At the fundraising and ministry partnership training I went to, we heard this 17 min. sermon on our identity as God's beloved children by Henri Nouwen. Then one of my church Small Group members shared it. So I thought I'd post it for y'all!

How often do we forsake our identity as beloved children, because we desperately seek our identity in what people say, what we accomplish, what we accumulate? I struggle through this in fundraising, leading my church Small Group and students in InterVarsity, loving Kyle well, and how sometimes I just want to escape into movies and TV. Can I let God change my mind and heart, to know my identity doesn't come from others' approval or rejection, hard work or laziness, a 100% raised budget or no money, awesome ministry stories or stories of failure? Instead of twisting into sorrow or bitterness, can rejection and failure point me to God's first love?

I recently heard this 20 min. TED talk by Brené Brown connecting vulnerability, shame, and wholeheartedness. Shame, the fear that something's wrong with us and we're not worth loving. We numb vulnerability, because it's a two-edged sword - it can lead to shame when we're rejected, but it can also lead to wholehearted lives, full of courage, compassion, connection, and joy. She gives signs of numbing vulnerability and ideas to embrace vulnerability and live wholeheartedly.

Coming Out of Blog-Hibernation

I certainly haven't been hibernating in the real world, though. Since I last wrote in April, I helped put on our annual fundraising banquet in Houston, led an evangelism training at SFA, and held a farewell dinner for A&M graduating seniors. Then, Kyle and I took a vacation to Disney World! Pictures will be up on Facebook soon! Once I finish sorting through them... Then I traveled to the Austin area for 2 weeks in May to train students in how to lead Small Groups at our end-of-year chapter camp, RecWeek. I'm always blessed but exhausted afterwards; I collapse and just lay around for a few days. After a brief week and a half at home, it was off to Austin for some training on fund raising and partnership development, followed by a trip to Alabama to see Kyle's sister, brother-in-law, and our 2 nieces. And did I mention we started our kitchen remodel while I was at RecWeek? It's been a bit of a blur, and I haven't kept in touch with people like I wanted to. But never fear! I'm back in town for most of the summer, so I should be able to return phone calls and emails, and maybe even initiate some phone calls and emails myself. I can't thank y'all enough for your prayers and encouragement!

Miscellany

This weekend, I trained new staff in fundraising in Houston. It was good to get to know some of our new hires. We tried distance teaching, one group in Dallas and one in Houston, with me and one of my staff partners splitting up teaching. It was tricky to teach a group in my room and one over webcam at the same time. Does anyone have experience with meetings like that? I'd love ideas on how to improve.

We have a fundraising banquet in Houston on April 18. Pray that 170 people come, we raise $60,000 in support, and that it's an encouraging celebration for donors, staff, and everyone there. I love the banquet - it's good to catch up with friends and hearing testimonies motivates me to finish the year strong.

Easter was a delightful celebration! The church service was beautiful, the sermon intrigued me, and I ate a ton afterwards. I did well in the Easter egg hunt my family still has for the "kids" (me, Kyle, my brother, and my 2 cousins). In the past, it's been a scavenger hunt with clues to each egg's hiding place. This year was more traditional, with an egg color for each of us, and a few that were fair game for anyone. Our parents enjoy watching us make fools of ourselves. And we do too!

Easter is Coming!

My busy schedule was a good excuse to not write, but I think I've been hiding from writing. I canceled our Spring Break trip to Houston a week before we left, and that was really hard. We only had 4 students signed up. It wasn't enough to do the extra neighborhood visits the ministry we were working with had planned. I was able to work on my fundraising. I was glad to be in town when some friends asked Kyle and I to come over while they went through something. But it was still hard to cancel the trip, because it left me with questions: Had I heard from God to plan it? Had I prayed "enough" or done "enough" work to recruit? Why hadn't students signed up? It takes a lot of energy to wrestle through questions, especially when lies are the easier answers to believe.

I've had a great time since Spring Break, though. I read applications and interviewed Ministry Intern candidates for our area. We've got one Ministry Intern and one Volunteer Staff now, and we're still waiting to hear back. We had our Area Team Meetings in College Station this week, where we focused on prayer and celebrated my 5 years on staff. I had so much fun, and started crying hysterically from all the nice things people said. I was just a little overwhelmed. My parents and brother even drove down and a few friends who support my ministry came over for ice cream sundaes!

This weekend, of course, is Easter. I'm excited to celebrate with my family the greatest gift God could give us, salvation through Jesus. I'm hopeful for some rest and refreshment as we worship the risen Lord and race around hunting Easter eggs.

I'm also filled with hope about God's ability to provide my funding. Romans 8:32 says, "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" I've realized I haven't trusted God to be the kind of Father who loves me so completely nothing can separate us. So, whether I'm funded or not, God still loves me. And he's with me in the midst of the struggle. And he will provide what Kyle and I need, whatever that looks like. If you'd like to pray each day in April with me for my fundraising, would you email me or comment on the blog? I'd love to give you a couple specific prayer points. Thanks!

Evangelism Experiences

Recently, I took a couple students I'm discipling to do conversational evangelism. I asked some of the SFA students I disciple to grab someone else in IV and go too. I decided not to drive the 3 hours to go with them...

One of the spiritual conversations at A&M ended with me inviting the student to a GIG (Group Investigating God). It's an evangelistic Bible study, a chance for him to ask questions and look at the Bible for himself. Could you pray for J, that he sees God "prove" himself in some way, that he sees God is real? I'm hoping to connect him to Asian American IV after Spring Break.

God surprised the Thrive (South Asian American IV chapter) students who went with me with how easy it is to strike up spiritual conversations. No one attacked them; everyone gladly talked about God. That happens a lot, especially at A&M. The SFA students shared how they felt stumped a few times, but they planned on going again after Spring Break to grow and learn how to respond to hard questions.

I still have a flutter of fear before conversational evangelism. The real cost for me now is my energy. I thought about this a lot last week. It takes energy for me to talk to strangers. And it takes energy to follow up with someone, pursue relationship, invite them into community, and keep sharing who God is with them.

But God has a sense of humor. I found an article today succinctly dealing with many excuses for not sharing the gospel. My energy excuse wasn't on there, so I came up with a potential response. "God is faithful to provide our needs, including energy and rest. It's good to spend our energy storing up treasure in heaven that will last - people knowing Jesus!"

What holds you back from sharing the good news about Jesus? How is God inviting you to think differently?

Some Encouragement

I asked one of the Thrive leaders if I could share this email they got. Last January, they handed out slips with encouraging Scripture and Thrive's contact info.

Hi, I just want to share some encouragement with you guys!

One day last year, someone handed me a little pink flyer on campus and I thought, "great, another one for the recycling bin." I folded it up and stuck it in my backpack's pocket with intentions of throwing it away.

After class, I glanced down at the crinkled paper as I was looking for the nearest trash can. In bold print, I read, "Blessed is the one who preserves under trial because, after having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that The Lord has promised to those who love him." (James 1:12). It took everything I had not to break down crying right there on campus.

I saved that little pink piece of paper and it has honestly saved my life on more than one occasion. Those small words of encouragement reminded me of the bigger picture in life and what really matters, and who I owe it all to. Just now I looked at who made the little flyer, and I wanted to say THANK YOU, and to let y'all know that you ARE making a difference in the lives of others.

Keep up the good work! Thanks & gig 'em.

Breakthroughs

I think a lot of students actually experienced breakthroughs at Breakthrough this weekend. Praise God! About 450 students attended, plus some alumni and special guests. And us staff.

We did manuscript studies over Acts 11:19-30; 12:25-13:3 and Acts 14:8-28. God calls us to cross ethnic and socioeconomic boundaries. The disciples fast and pray a lot. And Paul encourages them, saying, "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God" after being stoned, then traveling back to the same cities he faced opposition in. Not the pep talk you'd want to hear, right?

Jovin Adjeitey, IV International Student Ministry staff at University of Houston, preached from Acts 16:11-36 on freedom and 17:16-34 on mission. Saturday, she asked students if they were like Lydia, the slave girl, or the jailer. All needed freedom in Jesus. On Sunday, she called students to follow the God of mission to share the gospel wherever they were at, starting on campus.

I don't have final numbers; several students decided to follow Jesus for the first time, and some more recommitted to Jesus, including two Aggie IVers! Students wrote what was holding them in chains on sticks, then broke them in half.

I was impressed with the students who came to the Small Group Leader 201 workshop I led. They eagerly shared observations on Acts 17:1-9 and quickly came up with great potential observation, interpretation, and application questions. I'm excited for them to raise the "missional temperature" in their Small Groups.

I spent chapter time with Renew at SFA, celebrating (twice the students from last year and now an official chapter!) and helping them apply what we learned. I saw Thrive and AgIV at Bible studies, meals, and the party, where we danced and played Mafia. Here's me with J and T, the two Thrivers who came. Pray as they take risks to share the gospel and be real in a strong nominal Christian culture.

And a little treat for you, here's the welcome video we made for students. You can spot me in the very back. We work hard to contextualize our ministry. At least, that's what I tell myself.

Hezekiah and Much Needed Help

During our Area Team Meetings last week, we studied the story of Hezekiah from 2 Kings 18-19. Our big takeaway - we need to pray! Hezekiah turns to God quickly in the face of danger. He could have gotten frustrated at God; he had brought the nation of Israel back to God after his forefathers had built altars to other gods and had turned away from the real God. Why was he still facing destruction and slavery by the Assyrians? But he turned to God, and even asked God to save them so that all nations would know that He was the only true God. Even when we're getting terrifying reports, we need to choose prayer over fear and making our own plans.

I prepared a "Retreat of Silence" or ROS for our time Tuesday. It's a chance to hear from God during several hours of intentional silence. You can read the Bible or another book, enjoy nature, confess, praise, ask God to provide. Or just listen.

I was in a spiritually hard place since Urbana, and I think it was coming before then. I've had moments of peace and even revelation. But when I returned home, in the midst of everyday life, lots of lies, fears, and anger rushed back in.

During the ROS, after lots of struggling, God brought me to a place where I knelt and confessed my sin. I realized I knew those thoughts and feelings were lies, and I needed to think about the truth. That was some much needed help for my soul.

Between our time with Hezekiah and the ROS, I left in a much better place. I'm still living in unhealthy patterns, but I've recognized the changes God is making in my life, ways he's strengthening and disciplining me and bringing some transformation.

We can feel hopeless toward change this time of year. Resolutions are all but forgotten. I hope you find space for prayer, reflection, and truth!

Crash Dummies

Saturday, I led a Small Group Leader "Crash Course." The 13 of us, including all 4 Thrive SGLs, dug into Jesus encountering Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10. I helped them improve their observation skills.

Have you ever noticed the repetition of the word "today" in v. 5 and 9? It links Jesus and salvation. Or "sinner" in v. 7 and "he too is a son of Abraham" in v. 9 signaling that Jesus is restoring Zacchaeus not only spiritually, but also to his flesh and blood community? Or that this story coming right after Jesus heals a blind man in Jericho may tell us that Zacchaeus was spiritually blind, and this was what healing looked like for him? Jesus responded to Zacchaeus' genuine spiritual interest (so desperate he climbed a tree!) and showed the Father's love for the lost. And Zacchaeus truly was lost - a chief tax collector, defrauding his community - but also truly repentant, going above and beyond what the Old Testament called him to repay. It's so cool what good observation can reveal!

I basically cribbed all that from The Bible Study Handbook by Lindsay Olesberg. I just finished. I can't recommend it enough as a solid guide to communal inductive Bible study. The first section covers what you will hopefully receive from Bible study. The second covers how to observe, interpret, and apply. I appreciated the observation chart. The third goes through lots of practical advice, from research tools to prayer to imagination to identifying genre and structure.

We talked about pacing and group dynamics. Then we finished by brainstorming how to grow our Small Groups in prayer, mission, and community - because being a Small Group Leader isn't just about studying the Bible well!

I hope to refine the training so I can offer it again next year to students who can't make it to our SGL track at our end-of-year conference. After my prep, I think I might want to change what I teach at the SGL track, too.

Adventures in Austin

I can't wait to share with y'all about fundraising, Urbana, and preparing for the spring semester. I ran around so much for the last month I haven't taken time to write about it all. But here's what I did last week.

I drove to Austin with my area director, Josh Howell. We planned next week's Area Team meeting and Ministry Intern hiring. After we were brain dead from planning, we got to our actual meetings in Austin!

It was my first Regional Leadership Team meeting; I loved it! The team is funny, passionate, and encouraging. We discussed developing champions for our ministry, people who are so committed to what we're doing they'll help us in whatever way they can. And we learned a ton about chapter building. I'm excited to apply it.

We shared what's going on in our lives and prayed. The next day, I had a couple breakthroughs. I realized my job isn't about maintaining my appearance for others - students, colleagues, donors. When I fail to do something, I don't have to find excuses or scramble at the last minute. I don't have to wonder if what I said or did is "good enough." I also realized I'm out of my depth in a lot of my life, especially the last 6 months as the new Assistant Area Director. That I've stepped out of my comfort zone to do something new. That any anxiety and exhaustion are caused by risks I've taken. That I should give myself space to turn to God, instead of feeling guilty over my fear. I just hadn't put together that I was taking any new risks.

Okay - on to the weekend! Kyle drove over Friday afternoon and we spent the weekend having an adventure. Friday night, we saw the Lion King! Saturday morning, Kyle ran in the Austin Gorilla Run. I have pictures:

Driving to the race.

Gorillas dancing to Thriller.

Kyle right after the race. A little tired and sweaty, no?

Kyle, a little happier, now that he has his banana.
Saturday night, we went to the Alamo Drafthouse, where we saw the group Master Pancake Theater make fun of Terminator 2. It was inappropriate most of the time, but it was also really hilarious. Sunday, we visited the Capitol for the first time.

Now for the food - with the Regional Leadership Team, I ate an Independent and a Democrat at Torchy's and my first hot pot at Chen Z. I had a burger at Cherrywood Coffee House. Kyle and I hit 888 for pho; Tacodeli for like 6 different tacos; Amy's Ice Cream for Fudge, S'mores, and Mexican Vanilla with strawberries; Alamo Drafthouse for pizza, popcorn, and movie candy; and Gourdough's. Delicious.

Food trucks are all the rage in Austin. And now I understand why.

A Funky Monkey and a Flying Pig at Gourdough's.