Thursday, September 19, 2013

A Night with Thrive, and Some Questions

We sat at Fuego's, munching on tacos and queso. Eight of us hung out after Thrive's Large Group, where 20 students talked about why we do Small Group Bible study and set meeting times for the men's and women's SGs.


Churches got brought up. One student described his denomination Mar Thoma, based in southwestern India, as a cross between Pentecostal, Catholic, and Baptist. I hope to experience that someday, because I can't fathom what that's like.

I shared my Bible church upbringing, which I joked is a bit like Baptist Lite. All the flavor with none of the calories! And the church we're at now feels a little emergent; my pastor can be super-serious or delightfully sarcastic, the worship is low key, and everything's supposed to happen "organically."

One student there was Catholic. Thrive's advisor described the Indian Catholic wedding he'd attended, where the bride and groom were lifted onto chairs and everyone was calling out something. He thought it was a shrill ululation, like a Xena war cry. Apparently not. We laughed as she shared what they were actually yelling.

A few others shared about their Pentecostal church weddings. Rings aren't exchanged at their churches. So they have Bible-bearers instead of ringbearers.

One of the students mentioned going to a cousin's wedding, where the groom was White. She shared how the aunties turned their faces away at the kiss. I stopped her, "Wait. Y'all don't kiss at the end of your ceremony?" "Oh no, that would be scandalous for all our aunties and uncles. They would be offended. And I can't imagine kissing in front of them." I blurted out, "But I went in for a second kiss!" After a split-second of silence, we all burst out laughing.


It was good to hang out. I stayed super late. I'm grateful we can learn about each others' upbringings with humor and love. That's a glimpse of Kingdom life for me.

Monday, when I promised this post, that was all I had thought of writing. Then my Facebook feed blew up with Miss America. The juxtaposed experiences struck me. I've heard people say racism isn't an issue anymore. But we clearly still have hang-ups over race. I have misconceptions, stereotypes, and I live, often unconsciously, with benefits that come with being White in the US. I guess you could argue our hang-ups aren't racism. But the vitriol on Twitter (which I understand has plenty of vitriol, no matter the subject) over an Indian American winning a beauty pageant seems ridiculous to me. Plenty of people are pointing out the irony.


I have a lot of anger, deep, pit-of-my-stomach frustration and heartbreak, over racism. I also have questions.

How does racism like this affect my South Asian friends? Many struggle with their identity living in two very different cultures, with traditional Indian parents in a predominantly White setting like Texas A&M. Words like coconut get thrown around, making someone question if they're identifying enough with their South Asian heritage. And then something like this comes along. What does it communicate? I think most probably aren't surprised. They've experienced this kind of thing before. I feel like it'd smack me in the face with the message "You don't belong! You aren't really American! You aren't wanted here!" Whether in day-to-day life or on a national level like this, that message could be all they hear.

It doesn't have to be, though. Ask your South Asian friends how they're feeling, if they've experienced racism before, what they're praying about right now.

I have this glimmer of hope. Could God spur redemption, empowering South Asian Americans to find a new way forward for all? This wasn't the worst injustice ever. Most of the South Asian people I know are good at forgiving and forgetting. It may become another anecdote, laced with bittersweet incredulity. But God could also use it for good. Our country's racial divide is deep, shown again this summer with the George Zimmerman trial. Whatever your thoughts on the verdict and on Miss America, we've proven we have deep-seated fear, ignorance, anger, and apathy among every race. In other words, sin. We could use new voices in the mix, helping us navigate repentance, healing, and racial reconciliation. I hope my South Asian brothers and sisters will choose to be a courageous voice for change.

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