Good Christian B******

I watched the pilot for GCB (what they’ve shortened the title to so they can stay PC) early last week. It was mildly funny, but I was unsettled and sad after watching it. Think Desperate Housewives goes to Texas and gets religion. The main antagonist, Carlene, quotes lots of Scripture out of context and makes pronouncements about God not liking a failure and how Jesus wouldn’t hang out with thieves and prostitutes in her neighborhood.

The nicest, most mature person on the show was the protagonist, Amanda. Recently widowed from an adulterous Ponzi schemer, she moves her 2 kids back to Dallas to live with her mother in Highland Park. Her old high school “friends” are afraid of losing their husbands to her, and want some revenge for all the torture she put them through. After spying and plotting, they all go to church. Then they spy and plot some more.

I felt uncomfortable because, gross caricature though it was, I feel these same tensions in the middle-class churches I’ve attended. Power struggles, desperation for security and comfort, wanting to be justified and even managing a little revenge against someone who slanders me. I can only imagine how they play out in churches filled with rich people – the temptations must be unbelievable. But here’s the thing: most Christians I hang out with are on some level trying to follow Jesus, albeit very imperfectly. And I think that’s what makes me angriest – the Christians in this show weren’t trying to follow Christ. They weren’t fighting their temptations, trusting the Holy Spirit for their well-being, or loving their enemies. Let’s not even talk about sacrificing for the poor among us – there aren’t any poor anywhere near their church!

But Amanda didn’t love her enemies either; she decided to gossip about Carlene through prayer during church, the exact thing Carlene had done to Amanda at the beginning of the show. That’s who they portray as the heroine? As I said, Amanda is the nicest, most mature person. But being nice and mature doesn’t qualify you for God’s Kingdom. Having a relationship with Jesus does, but that relationship means more than being nice and mature – it’s a call to lay down your life. About the only thing I could agree with in the show was when Amanda told Carlene, “How dare you call yourself a Christian!”